You can pass the licensing exam, memorize all the contract clauses, and still walk into your first real estate transaction feeling like you’re flying blind. That’s because the stuff that really matters, the part no one puts in the handbook, is learned the hard way. One showing, one awkward client text, one expired listing at a time.
Here’s what I wish more new agents were told from the start:
You’re not selling houses, you’re solving people’s problems
The couple with three kids under five isn’t buying a four-bedroom home. They’re trying to stop stepping on Legos in the living room.
The downsizing retiree isn’t just listing her place. She’s quietly mourning 30 years of memories. The sooner you stop looking at real estate as inventory and start seeing it as life management, the better you’ll connect with people. That’s where the trust begins, and in this business, you’ll need the trust.
You don’t need to know everything, just know where to find it fast
Clients don’t expect you to know the roof pitch or zoning code by heart. But they still want a fast and accurate answer.
The trick is building a go-to network: a savvy inspector, a sharp title rep, a lender who picks up on Sundays, your broker, and even your old friend Google.
Your reputation gets built on how well you bridge gaps.
Most of your job is managing emotions
People think this job is all deal-making and closing gifts. But your real currency is calm.
When a buyer wants to walk after one low appraisal, or a seller is convinced their home is worth more than the comp down the street with a pool, your job is to be steady. Not dramatic. Not passive. Steady.
Your time is worth protecting
And I must admit, I’m guilty of not always following this one.
The buyer who wants to see six houses but hasn’t spoken to a lender is not “keeping you busy.” They’re draining your time. The client who needs to have all the information at 4 am, can wait a couple of hours.
Be polite, be kind, but don’t be afraid to establish boundaries. Learning to say no is just as important as learning to say “you’re under contract.”
People care more about how you say things than what you say
You can have the right information, but if you deliver it with a stiff or nervous tone, people won’t trust you.
Confidence builds credibility. And if you’re not confident yet, get comfortable being clear and honest. “I don’t know, but I’ll find out today” goes a lot farther than guessing.
You’ll need thick skin and a short memory
Some deals fall apart without warning. Some clients ghost you after 30 showings. That doesn’t mean you’re bad at this. It means you’re in real estate. Shake it off, learn the lesson, and move on for your own mental health.
Real estate looks polished from the outside, but on the inside, it’s a lot of juggling, listening, and staying grounded when things get messy. If you can be the one who stays sharp, pays attention, and actually cares about the humans behind the sale, you’ll build something lasting.
Kelli Eggen
